Anything for your Happiness
by sleepingempress
Summary: Sasuke awakes in the middle of the night and finds Kakashi's tear-striken face. He does not understand why he was crying. However, he swore to do anything to make those tears disappear. (Kakasasu) Collection of one-shots. Chapter 3 is up! Take three on the heartache
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Warning: boyxboy**

**-=oOo=-**

Consciousness comes back to Sasuke at the sound of rustling fabric. He blinks once and twice, waiting for the hazy cloud of sleep to clear from his eyes. He lazily extended a hand to the space beside him to where a certain silver haired man should be sleeping. There was no one there.

"Kakashi?" he asks the emptiness. He lifts up his head and scans the room. It was dark but the moonlight from the window faintly illuminated a figure of a person sitting at the edge of the bed. Even with his back turned from him, he could tell that it was no other than the famous copy-nin.

He didn't know why but he found relief at the sight of the man. "Come back here…" He makes the words slip from his mouth like a sweet caress, attempting to seduce the man to get back to bed. It feels empty without Kakashi beside him. He felt so scared and uneasy and the only way he'd feel safe is when he's back in Kakashi's arms. "It feels so cold without you." He coaxed again.

Sasuke gave himself a pat in back for his ingenious. Kakashi slightly turned his head from where he sat and gave him a soft smile. It tugged at his heart and Sasuke extended both arms, reaching out for him like a child wanting his mother to pick him up.

"Did I wake you?" Kakashi asked as he climbed to the middle of the bed.

Sasuke was smiling but it faltered. What was wrong in Kakashi's voice? He knew the melodies those perfect windpipes produced and never has he heard something as sorrowful as this. It was shocking as much as it was confusing. He couldn't talk back and just stared as Kakashi went under the blankets beside him.

"Now get back to sleep." Kakashi sat beside him, preferring to sit at the headboard as he placed Sasuke's head on his lap. "Be there with you in a while."

Sasuke's previous inquiry left him as he felt Kakashi's big, warm hand pat his head. He purred contentedly as long, skillful fingers tenderly ruffled his hair. He wanted to yawn but suppressed it. It feels so safe being with Kakashi, he feels too sleepy to keep thinking.

Just when he was about to enter the gates to dreamland, he hears a sniffle. Sasuke was suddenly shot back into reality and he froze, forgetting to breathe.

Was Kakashi crying?

He was so scared to open his eyes that he pretended to be asleep. As soon as Kakashi stopped patting his head, he heard a muffled cry silenced by hand. Kakashi was crying! He could feel the older man was quivering beneath him.

Sasuke panicked in his head. What was he supposed to do? Would it hurt Kakashi's ego if he saw him crying in the middle of the night? Should he just keep faking sleep? Sasuke gave his internal self a smack his head. Kakashi was obviously upset about something. It was his duty to comfort him.

"Kakashi, what's wrong?" he wrapped both arms around Kakashi's waist. He gave them a gentle squeeze for reassurance. He didn't look up yet because he wasn't ready to see Kakashi's crying face. He feels like he would cry the instant he sees Kakashi's tears. He just buried his head in the man's thigh and navel.

"Do want to talk about your bad dream?" he asked when all he got was a muffled cry in response. Kakashi wasn't talking but instead tried to take deep breaths to calm down. Hearing the grief-stricken sounds made his body shiver in fright. "B-but i-if you don't want to, i-it's fine…" he stuttered, voice disappearing at the end of his sentence.

"I'm s-" was all that Kakashi could utter.

Sasuke feels his heart constrict. Though he feared what he was about to see, he raised his head and looked at Kakashi's face in the darkness. At first all he could make out was Kakashi's head lying on the headboard looking at the ceiling. He had a hand on his mouth and another covering his eyes. When Sasuke inched closer, he could see a faint glow in his cheeks.

Were those tears?

Sasuke could feel his own heart breaking when Kakashi took his hands of his eyes. That instant he felt a prick, like a needle puncturing his heart. Then he could hear his own heart breaking in his ears, like a crunch growing louder and echoing in the room. He feels heat behind his eye sockets and an acid tear flows down his face. Why does seeing Kakashi's tears hurt so much?

"Kakashi…" Sasuke whispered as he looked at the man's tear-stained face. He didn't have his mask on so Sasuke could see his lips trembling. From the way the moonlight hit his face, Sasuke could see how the white of his eyes were bleeding red. They looked so tender and swollen that Sasuke could not bring himself to touch Kakashi's face, in fear that he might break them more.

"Sa...su…ke..." Kakashi called to him with much effort. Sasuke felt another prick in his heart. But then he feels strong hands scoop him up and soon he found himself between Kakashi's neck and shoulder as the man held on to him desperately. He stayed there a little while longer. If this was what Kakashi wanted, he'd let the man do it as long as he wanted to.

In one swift motion, he shifted from his seat and positioned himself on top of the sitting man. He sat on Kakashi's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck so that they could be closer. It felt safe to be in Kakashi's arms and Sasuke hoped that the older man felt the same way with him.

"I-" Sasuke mumbled as he nuzzled in Kakashi's neck. He needed to say something, anything, to comfort Kakashi. He can't just sit here and do nothing when Kakashi was in pain. He must have had a really bad dream to get him stirred up like this. He was so used to Kakashi's idiotic, goofy side that he didn't know how to react to him being so emotional. But he had to try.

Though his body protested, Sasuke freed himself from the strong arms. He put both hands on Kakashi's chest and pushed himself away from the man to get a view of his face. To say at the least, he was breathtaking.

The moonlight gave him a heavenly glow. Even with those sorrowful eyes, Kakashi looked so terribly beautiful. He always believed that Kakashi was perfect but the tears in his face made everything glisten – it was stunning. With half-lidded eyes, he kissed Kakashi's tears away. The task was more difficult than what he expected, as the tears never stopped flowing.

Sasuke pushed his own tears back. Kakashi was hurting so bad. He felt the pain. He always believed that his and Kakashi's heart were connected. What Kakashi felt, he felt it too. He made Kakashi's pain his own, endlessly multiplied a thousand fold. That is why he fought hard to ignore the blood dripping from his punctured heart. Right now, Kakashi needed him and his strength.

"Tell me what's bothering you." He now used a thumb to brush the tears away. "I'll make it go away." That's right. He'd get rid of whatever it was that was making Kakashi sad. He'd do anything for Kakashi. Anything and everything. He'd do it all to make him happy. The sole purpose of his existence is to keep Kakashi smiling. That's right. He'd kill and die for this man. "I'll do it all for you."

Kakashi's reaction was not the one that he was expecting. His words were supposed to give Kakashi some comfort but then the man just broke down in front of him. Whatever control he had before was now gone and he just broke down into loud, sorrowful sobs.

It was confusing but Sasuke couldn't let it faze him. He needed to make Kakashi know that he was determined to make the sadness go away. He must try harder. "I love you so much Kakashi, more than the world, more than myself." He continued with a little smile, to encourage him to speak. "I will do anything for you - just tell me what would make you feel better. I will do it."

It seemed like he was convincing Kakashi because the man was now crying softly. He was taking deep breaths and was now beginning to relax in his hold. The change in Kakashi's response brightened Sasuke's mood considerably. Wow! He must be doing so great because Kakashi was feeling better already. He had to continue telling Kakashi how much he loved him. Kakashi liked those!

"I love you so much Kakashi, I live only for you!" Sasuke half-giggled. The mood was getting lighter. He had to keep this pace up. "Just say the word Kakashi – your wish is my command!" You can bet on it. Whatever passes through those gorgeous lips, he would make sure Kakashi gets it.

"Oh Sasuke," Kakashi lifts his hands and places them on either side of his face. They were so warm and gentle to the touch that it tingled in his skin. "You don't have to do anything." Kakashi hiccupped, struggling to speak when he was fighting his tears. "You have done enough." The man looked straight into his eyes and he could feel his gaze pierce his soul. "You have done so much."

"I have done so little." He frowned and pouted right after. "If I had, you wouldn't have to be sad Kakashi-" he smiled brightly this time. "Because I would do anything to make you happy!"

He was startled as Kakashi suddenly pressed their foreheads together. "Why?" the man whispered as he closed his eyes. "Why did you that hn?" he could feel Kakashi's brows furrow. "You didn't have to do that…" Kakashi's voice was starting to break again. "I love everything about you, I still do. Oh how I miss you so much…"

What was he talking about? Who was he talking to? Is Kakashi sure he's awake and not dreaming? Why was he blabbering about nonsense? It was so confusing. Who did Kakashi miss? His father? A comrade? A lover in the past? His fists clenched as the thought of Kakashi loving another person other than him made him angry. The way that Kakashi cried for him, the way Kakashi said he missed him – it made him so jealous.

"Who is it that you miss Kakashi?" Sasuke unclenched his fists and resorted to caressing the man's shoulders. If Kakashi misses this person, he'd make sure that he would see him again. He wasn't joking when he said he'd do anything. Even if it hurt him, he would do anything. "I'll take him to you."

"You don't understand." Kakashi still had his head in his hands. "You don't have to do anything." It looked like it hurt just to talk but Kakashi was doing his best to make him understand. "I love you no matter who you are. You don't have to change."

"I really don't understand." Sasuke admitted, sulking in his stupidity. He usually can read Kakashi's thoughts but tonight, it was difficult. Kakashi was acting weird. Was he sick? Did he hit his head? "When did I do that?"

"You weren't always like this -" Sasuke felt his heart skip a beat when Kakashi smiled a little as he studied his face. "So carefree, so lively, so innocent. Like a child." His smile was getting bigger and it made Sasuke so happy inside. "You smile so freely and you laugh as if it was breathing." At that he couldn't help but giggle. "You have an optimistic view in life and nothing could get you down." Sasuke blushed - Kakashi could say the sweetest things. "You're cute and fun, not so cold and unfeeling like then."

Cold and unfeeling? "That doesn't sound like me." Sasuke made a curious face. "Are you sure you're talking about me?" he gave Kakashi a light jab to the chest to scold him. He's been cute and fun ever since he could remember. What was Kakashi talking about?

"But even then, you were so beautiful." Kakashi closed his eyes like he was reminiscing. "You had a stern look and the most stoic face – so emotionless and empty." Sasuke shivered as Kakashi ran in fingers in his face, looking at him like he was a goddess of beauty. "You were scary and beautiful at the same time. You were so beautiful like a lifeless doll but your eyes -" Kakashi paused as he brushed his thumbs against his cheeks. Sasuke made sure to keep his eyes open for Kakashi to see. "When you look at me with those eyes, I could feel the life in you – so full of passion and intensity. It was intoxicating."

As much as Sasuke was happy that Kakashi was telling him how beautiful he is, he can't help but wonder how Kakashi thought of him like that. "I'm not scary, am I?" his face twisted in question. Then he made his cheeks blow up and pout.

His efforts paid off because Kakashi smiled again. "You were scary beautiful." Kakashi now played with his hair. "You had a terrible power inside you but you were so graceful, so flawless. Your love was so pure and selfless it scared me to know that you chose to give it to me. I've never thought love could be one-directional. Without leaving any for yourself, you chose to give them to me."

"Of course I'd give them to you." Sasuke rolled his eyes. He never knew Kakashi was so insecure about himself. Can't Kakashi see how lovable he was? He's responsible, understanding and mature. He's protective, compassionate and faithful. He's witty, goofy and dorky. Who wouldn't love Kakashi?

"It scares me even now." Kakashi confessed. "I've been scared since that night I told you that I accepted who you were, that no matter what you did, no matter what you'll do, I will always love you." His smile faltered. "You seemed so happy when you heard those words. I didn't know why but they had special meaning to you that even I couldn't demystify. At that moment you gave yourself to me – your body, your heart, your soul – you gave everything to me."

"Now that sounds like me!" Sasuke clapped once. He didn't really understand anything yet but he was enjoying Kakashi's story. If it means he gets more compliments, maybe he'd ride along. "Tell me more. Tell me more about our love!" he couldn't help but squeak excitedly.

"Our love was an understanding." Kakashi lightly put his hands on his neck to keep him still. "We didn't go on dates, we rarely spent time together, we didn't even talk that much or preferred not to talk at all." Kakashi said all of this with a calm voice. "We didn't joke, we didn't play around, we rarely smiled and laughed."

"That sounds boring." Sasuke let his jaw drop. That clearly isn't very accurate. Life with Kakashi is so much fun! They cook together, clean the house together, do laundry, feed the dog, grocery shop, even brush their teeth together! Kakashi always listens to his stories, he always laughs at his jokes, he always plays with him.

"That was us." Kakashi let a lone tear fall from from his eyes. "We were so in sync with each other that we didn't need to talk. Even when we're far away from each other, we were always together." This thought made Kakashi's lips tremble. "In this cruel and busy world, we were each other's sanctuary. Just knowing the fact that we loved each other – it was enough to keep us going, to keep us happy."

"I feel the same way!" Sasuke blurted out. Kakashi had said a very important thing. "That's what you are to me, Kakashi." He nodded furiously. "You're my sanctuary – I feel so safe when I'm with you." He wrapped his arms around his lover's neck and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I love you soooo much!"

"I don't deserve any of it." Kakashi hugged him back. "I done you so many wrongs when all you have given me is love." Kakashi's grip on him tightened, almost suffocating him. "You have no idea how much I hurt you. You don't know the weight of my sins."

"Now that's enough Kakashi!" Sasuke feigned anger to get the man to stop. Kakashi had been the perfect boyfriend so he's not going to put up with any of his lies anymore. Kakashi had done nothing but to make him happy. He knew Kakashi would never hurt him. Never!

"Listen to me!" Kakashi was crying as he pleaded. "You must understand!" he held on to Sasuke's shoulders to make him listen. "I was leaving for a very dangerous mission. That night you wished me well and I was so touched. I told you that when I was away, I wanted you to be happy. I told you your happiness is my happiness. I told you as long as you were happy, I wouldn't feel sad while I was away, when I am apart from you. I told you that when you smile, it's gives me the strength to go on." Kakashi frowned. "That was my gravest sin. I regret every single word. I cannot forgive myself."

"Kakashi…" Sasuke could only stare. He's not enjoying this anymore. He knew he's supposed to comfort Kakashi but why is he crying again? Why is he saying stuff about sin and forgiveness? What is he trying to say?

"I came back to the village dying." Kakashi continued, trying to keep his voice firm so that Sasuke doesn't miss a single word. "I was told I needed an operation with very little survival rate. Before they took me away, I did something very unforgivable…"

"You're scaring me now Kakashi." Sasuke looked down and tried to avoid his gaze. His story was not funny anymore. More than that, the man was so serious about this. "Let's stop this." This was really getting out of hand.

"No Sasuke." Kakashi continued, grabbing his face so that he'd look at him again. "Because I did something I shouldn't have done-" Kakashi's voice was breaking. It seems like it took him all his power to continue his sentence. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "- I asked you to smile."

Sasuke was shocked senseless when Kakashi broke down in front of him. He didn't know what to do anymore because right now he could hear Kakashi's heart breaking in his ears. He could hear the cracks so clearly, he could pinpoint the exact second when Kakashi's heart broke into a thousand pieces.

"I wanted my last memory of you to be smiling." He cried between sobs. "I was so foolish that I didn't think about your feelings. I was being selfish, disregarding your feelings, asking you to smile when you felt so hurt and alone, when you were about to lose me."

"I don't want to hear anymore…" Sasuke covered his ears and shook his head. Just imagining Kakashi dying was so painful.

"As soon as I woke up, I looked for you." Kakashi recalled with much difficulty. "When I got home, as soon as I opened the door, you were there." Kakashi broke down again. "You were cooking something, humming a tune as you set up the table. When you finally noticed me, you scolded me, telling me I was late. It made me so happy seeing you like that. You were never so lively."

Kakashi now covered his hands with his eyes, unable to look at him anymore. "As we talked, I noticed something was different about you. You had different memories. You remembered things that didn't happen. You forgot things that you should have known. When you smiled at me, I knew."

Kakashi extended a hand to his face and caressed it lovingly. "You altered your personality. You've sealed away yourself and buried it deep in your heart. You decided to keep smiling for me, something you never would have normally done. You took to heart what I said that night - you made yourself happy so that I'll be happy."

"You did it because you knew," Kakashi clutched at his chest. "You knew I would accept you no matter who you were, no matter who you've become. You were so confident that I would forgive you, whatever you have done. You trusted those words so much that you were willing to lose yourself in exchange for my happiness."

"I will always love you. That will not change." Kakashi repeated. "I wish I could have made you understand that I truly loved you, no matter who you are. I'm not saying that I love you less right now. Or I loved you more before you've changed." Kakashi looked into his eyes so deeply that it pierced his soul. "I make no distinction. I love you. All of you. That part that you sealed away, I love that too."

Sasuke didn't know when he started to cry but he could feel tears in his face. "When I feel that a part of you is suffering, it breaks my heart. I feel so inadequate." Kakashi caressed his face and wiped his tears with his thumbs. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve such pure love." Kakashi kissed him in the cheek. "You shouldn't do any more for me. You have done so much."

With that Kakashi pat his head and hugged him close. Kakashi laid him down the bed and kissed him goodnight. He rested his head on Kakashi's chest. It felt so safe again, even though Kakashi had said so many things he couldn't understand.

Had all of it been true? Is this not a very bad bedtime story? If it was true, are all his memories fabricated? Had he really done all of that? He loved Kakashi so much that he sealed a part of himself to make him happy?

Yes. Because he loved Kakashi so much that he would do anything – anything to make him happy.

And to make him happy, although Kakashi told him not to do any more, he had to do another thing.

_"Um, are you awake? Can I...ask you something?" he looked at the boy trapped in the cell. He had trouble finding him; it took him a lot of time. The boy was sealed at the deepest part of his heart._

_"What do you want?" _

_The boy looked like him but not really. He had the emotionless face Kakashi was describing. His voice was scary too. "Kakashi misses you so much. He cried last night because he wanted to see you so badly. Can't you can't out from there and make him happy again?"_

_"What he thinks that he wants is not the same as what he needs." The other him answered. _

_"He won't be happy unless you come back." _

_"He is happy as long as you are happy." The other him answered. "He said it himself. Your happiness is his happiness. No matter what we've done, no matter who we are, he will always love us. Don't you think that Kakashi needs to be happy? Don't you think he deserves someone who will make him happy?_

_"But you can do that!" he shouted to make his point. "Just by being yourself, you can make him happy!"_

_"Don't you think I know that?" the other him snapped back. "Don't you know that by staying as I am, I am hurting him every day? Have you seen him look at other couples while walking down the street? Have you seen how his eyes linger at their smiles, envious of their laughs and jokes? Have you seen him open his mouth and yet say nothing, always careful with his words because his lover is an overly-sensitive emotional wreck?"_

_"But he's happy with you like that. He misses you."_

_"You don't get it do you?" the other him sighed. "You don't seem to value him so much. He doesn't smile when he's around me but with you, he could smile without any worries. Do you know how precious that smile is? Do you want that to disappear?"_

_"But you can make him smile yourself!"_

_"No I can't! After all I've been through, after all I've done, I cannot!" the other him shouted now. "I cannot let go of my pride. How can I smile knowing that my lips have uttered spells that killed innocent people? If I do that, I am no longer human and you will agree with me that Kakashi does not deserve a demon. Not even if he says he will love one, Kakashi does not deserve to be loved by a demon."_

_"But all you're doing is running away! If you have a problem, you and Kakashi should solve it together! You can't force your decisions on him! It's so selfish."_

_"Do you think I enjoy being here?" the other him asked him with a smirk. "Do you think I do not miss his sweet caress? Do you think I like that he no longer embraces me? There is not a second that passes that I do not wish that he was making love to me. There is not a time when I do not miss him. Did you think that this was an easy decision? Do you think I have not tried every option? I would have done anything to make Kakashi happy. Won't you?"_

_"I will," he answered truthfully. "I will do anything to make him happy."_

_"You have to make him happy now." The other him concluded. "If you meant what you said, then you'd make him happy without me. If you cannot do this, then it means you do not love him."_

_"He said he won't forgive himself!" He stood his ground. _

_"He will learn to forgive himself in time. You must put your faith in him." The other him instructed. "If he learns that you are unhappy that he's not forgiven himself, he will surely do it for you. If he can forgive himself for me, he can forgive himself for you."_

_It seems like the other him cannot be convinced. He knew himself. They were such stubborn beings._

_"I broke his heart today. I could hear his heart breaking." he confessed. "I cannot make him happy too." He smiled in defeat. "We must do this together. Together, we can make him happy."_

_The boy in the cell looks up at him. _

_"I exist because you have hope. I am a representation of your dreams – everything that you'd like for yourself to be, everything that you think Kakashi deserves in you. Kakashi loves us. He loves Sasuke – everything about him. By being sealed away, you're holding back and not giving him everything of you."_

_There was a loud clicking sound, like a key opening a lock. Then he finds himself being hugged by the other boy. _

_"Good job, Sasuke." He told him. "I have waited so long for you to come and rescue me. You did so admirably." He had his back patted. "Because of you, I can finally put down my pride and change myself. We can finally make him happy, together. As the person that he loved and as the person that he will come to love." _

_Then that boy smiled._

Sasuke awakes. He is still resting against Kakashi's chest. He looks up at Kakashi's face. There was traces in his face that indicated he had a rough night. Even though he is happy so see him resting peacefully, he suppresses the urge to smile and just cherishes the sight before him. He wants to tell him that he loved Kakashi so much but refuses to utter the word.

As if Kakashi was hearing his thoughts, the man awakes too. The first thing the older's sleepy eyes lands upon was his own. They looked at each other, their souls communicating for them. He could tell that Kakashi missed him and that he was glad that he's back. He poured out all his feeling, not leaving any restraints. Kakashi tightened his hold of him and went back to sleep without nothing more done and said.

They had expressed everything that they wanted to say with a glance.

-=oOo=-

**A/N: Thank you for reading my story! I was supposed to update my other story but this plot just came to me and I had to write it first to get it out of my system. I'm planning to make this a series of angst/ tragic/dark Kakasasu one shots. What do you think? Please review - that would really help me! THANK YOU!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Been a while since I updated this. I did say this was angst/dark/tragic right? **

**-=oOo=-**

A polished rock.

Kakashi has been spending all afternoon looking at a polished rock. It was no different than the other rocks beside it, save for the name that has been carved in the flat, rectangular surface. Along the vast plains of greenery in the field, there was just one place where the grass did not grow – the small space in the earth where Kakashi's feet were currently positioned. He had stepped on that piece of land too many and too long a time that whatever life that had sprouted was robbed of their right to flourish.

Sasuke watched him from afar.

What could Kakashi be thinking?

Of course, Sasuke had an idea. The first time Kakashi took him here, the man had divulged his past to him. Kakashi spent sunrise until sunset talking about his ancestors, the Hatake Clan, his father, Sakumo, and his childhood memories. Kakashi left nothing unsaid; he told Sasuke his experience as a gennin, chuunin, jounin and as an ANBU member. Kakashi told him about his life from start to present –how Minato trained him, how he fought the Third Great War, how he obtained the Sharingan, how he gained his monikers, how he became the man that he is now.

He has an idea what Kakashi could have been thinking. Yet none of his reasons explain what would prompt such sad eyes. Everyone in this village, in this earth, has experienced sadness. A shinobi, especially, has to face suffering, pain and death on a daily basis.

Then why does grass still grow in this field?

Sasuke acknowledges that Kakashi's past was tragic. Still there are others, himself included, that had similar pains, if not greater. Everyone has lost a loved one but then again, why do they not visit their graves? Why is it that Kakashi is the only one who stands for hours looking at the polished rocks? Why is he the only one haunted by his past like this?

The skies reflect Sasuke's thoughts and it darkens. He could smell a storm in the air. It would pour in a little while. Though a drizzle might not affect a trained shinobi's body so much, it was human instinct to find shelter whenever there is rain.

Sasuke walks towards the polished rock. He didn't hate the thing but always wondered how it manages to keep Kakashi's attention all to itself. Unlike any other time, Kakashi has a special radar for him. No matter what Kakashi was doing, within that radius, he would always stop and look at Sasuke's direction. However, this polished rock interfered with his sensors and Kakashi was unaware that he was approaching.

"Kakashi."

The man doesn't turn around.

"Kakashi." Sasuke repeated, extending out a hand, then two fingers, to grab a fabric of the man's shirt. He then pulls slowly, waiting for the time when Kakashi would notice his presence. In no time, Sasuke succeeds to steal some attention from the polished rock. Kakashi's head turns slightly, just enough to let the corners of his eyes glimpse the face of the person behind him.

"We should go." Sasuke wished to say but the words were stuck on his windpipes. He wanted to explain to Kakashi how the rain would pour soon and how their clothes would get wet, how slippery the ground would become and how long their journey back to the house would take - enough for both of them to feel uncomfortably cold – but the words never formed.

Instead he looks up the grey sky, wanting for Kakashi to do the same. Most of all, he looks up because he doesn't want to look down at the polished rock, whose powers were so great it pulls you into a state of trance. The longer you gaze, the deeper the illusion gets.

"Can I go?" Sasuke asks, turning his head inquisitively. He had no desire to leave Kakashi there but if the man wanted to stay longer, Sasuke would not deny him his time. If Kakashi feels burdened to go because of him, Sasuke would not force him. However, if Kakashi would not permit him to leave, Sasuke would gladly remain at his side.

The answer that Sasuke receives is a firm hold on his hand. Kakashi interlaced their fingers and steadied his grip. It seems like Kakashi didn't want him to leave his side but he didn't want to leave the polished rock either.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi tightened the hold on his hand. "Can you stay with me for just a little bit longer?"

Sasuke reciprocates the action by grabbing Kakashi's arm and hugging it tight. He pressed his forehead on his shoulders and closed his eyes. Kakashi didn't need to be sorry. A little bit longer is but a second compared to the eternity that Sasuke plans to spend with Kakashi.

"As long as it takes."

Sasuke keeps his eyes closed as he waits. He has been waiting for Kakashi since noon, on the shade of the nearest tree. He prefers to stay distant when Kakashi was like this, giving him space for his thoughts. There must have been a lot on Kakashi's mind. Sasuke understands that even though he and Kakashi were close, there are still some things that cannot be uttered between them. Nevertheless, Sasuke will wait and will not get tired of it, especially right now. Rather than the shade, he prefers his present waiting space – beside Kakashi.

"Let's go."

Kakashi shakes his hands in an effort to wake him from his self-induced sleep. Kakashi didn't take as long as Sasuke thought he would. He expected for the rainclouds to catch up to them but Kakashi must have also sensed the changes in the atmosphere and decided to leave right away.

The long walk out the graveyard was silent. In the past, in the days of Team Seven, Kakashi always walked at the rear. He would trail behind a fair distance, walking four or five steps away from him. Sasuke doesn't complain regarding their current set-up – walking beside each other on the same level, one hand holding the other's.

They walked all the way back home like that. The sun had already set behind them and the rain had started to pour. Fortunately, the raindrops reached the ground after they were both inside the house. Presently, they occupied the Uchiha mansion. Kakashi still had his apartment but he doesn't live there anymore. Ever since he and Sasuke got together, Kakashi has been sleeping on Sasuke's bed. It is true that the wooden house stood in the midst of a large garden, allowing for a beautiful view of nature and the seasonal events, but it is the sight of Sasuke that makes Kakashi stay.

It was a minor action that doesn't even merit notice, but Sasuke let go of Kakashi's hand while he takes off his shoes. Sasuke needed to hurry and prepare coal to keep their home warm. After that, he also needed to heat water for a bath.

However, even before he could move an inch, strong arms pull him into an embrace. While Sasuke stood there fixed, Kakashi was sitting on the elevated floor, beside the flak jacket he had speedily removed. The mask in his face had also been lowered to reveal his mouth, which was now sending warm wafts of breath to his stomach.

"Sasuke." Kakashi exhales the words with sadness. He then kisses his clothed skin and gnaws at his flesh. "Please spare me the pain of your death." Kakashi's hands around his waist and legs tighten their hold. "If you will die before me, I wouldn't know what to do. It would ruin me… I cannot even imagine."

"Why do you think of such things?" Sasuke asks, trying to console his uneasiness. Honestly, Kakashi has been overthinking too much. The war has ended and it was the time of peace. A tranquil life never did suit shinobi like them but they have to adjust somehow. How he wishes for Kakashi to relax for a while, live in the moment and not think of other, upsetting things.

"I am afraid." Kakashi doesn't have the heart to look up and just presses his face on the boy's stomach. "I feel as though you are slipping in my fingers and I cannot find rest, save for these moments."

"I am not going anywhere." Sasuke answers while he runs his hands through Kakashi's hair. "I am not dead yet Kakashi. Stop mourning for me."

"We will all die someday." The rage in Kakashi's thoughts was felt in his fingers. They were pressing on Sasuke's body with the force of desperation. "I would rather die now than live to see the day of your death. I cannot bear even just the thought."

"You will always have me Kakashi." Sasuke repeats his only answer. If he says it more, they might reach Kakashi's ears and make him listen. "I will never leave you. We will never be apart. We will always be together…"

"You are all that I have." Kakashi's voice was cracking. Sasuke could feel the man was close to crying. "You are the only thing in this world that I call mine and just the thought of losing you… I cannot endure." Kakashi was now running his hands on Sasuke's back, stomach and sides, lifting his shirt up to feel his skin. "Oh Sasuke, I love you." Kakashi breathes in his bare skin, making the little hairs stand. "Please be kind to me and never leave my side. I am begging you, please have mercy on me."

Sasuke looks up the ceiling and closes his eyes. Kakashi's lips on his stomach were draining him of his sanity. He could not think, much more respond, while Kakashi's lips, teeth and tongue devoured his navel.

Sasuke could feel nothing but Kakashi's overpowering feelings of love. Maybe it was this greedy love that separates Kakashi from all other shinobi's. His love was so pure and jealous – when Kakashi loves, he feels it every second; he cannot discard a feeling, cannot ignore an ache, cannot part with a hurt.

"Oh Kakashi…" Sasuke mutters as he let his face descend to Kakashi's level and claims the hungry mouth of the older man. He feels his whole body being lifted to the ground, landing on his soft mattress not a minute later. He feels his clothes being removed, the fabric being replaced by Kakashi's own skin. That night, while the raindrops tainted the glass windows, Sasuke feels Kakashi's essence pour inside of him and flood his whole being.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The raindrops fall and the skies cried.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

What is that sound? That sound is not rain.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Who was crying? That was not the sky.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Sasuke wakes in the middle of the night. He looks up the starless, moonlit sky, focusing on the lone tree on the horizon to steady his orientation. The tree looks familiar – that huge trunk, those bended branches, those irregularly sized leaves. It looks older, more aged, but still beautiful and shady. He cannot be mistaken.

He is back in the gravesite.

Sasuke feels another presence in the air. He makes the mistake of looking down and his eyes catch the moonlight shining upon a name in the polished rock.

Uchiha Sasuke

Hero of Konoha

As shocking as the discovery was, Sasuke finds a man sprawled on top of the flat gravestone. This man was crying, with clenched fists resting on the stone. His forehead was also pressed onto the rock, face close enough that he could kiss it.

"Sa…su…ke…"

Kakashi's tears continue to drip on the polished rock, giving it more luster. "I… I… I…" Kakashi was muttering nonsense, obviously trying to speak while being unable to do so. "Sa…su…ke…" Kakashi calls for his name again.

"I am here." Sasuke tells him. No need to call for him anymore.

"Why are you crying?" Sasuke wanted to ask, but the answers were already in front of him. Kakashi was crying because he was dead. This was his tombstone and Kakashi was crying for him.

Sasuke recalls the last moments of his life. They were fighting another war. The world was under the threat of total destruction once again and the shinobis were the last hope of mankind. It was the fifth night; battles were being fought everywhere. Men and women were dying all around him. Everyone was trying to suppress their biggest threat but to no avail. The enemy's defenses were unbreakable.

There was a message in their psychic connection. Kakashi had discovered the enemy's weakness and was asking everyone to prepare for an oncoming explosion. All forces that cannot withstand must leave the battlefield before they can be caught in the line of fire.

"Hey…" A voice suddenly spoke in his head.

"Is this…" It makes Sasuke smile inwardly. "Kakashi?"

"I asked Ino to link me to you." Kakashi explains. "How are you doing?"

"I'm almost done with this area. My squad is advancing in a while." Sasuke updates him.

"Glad to hear you're alright."

There was something in Kakashi's tone of voice that Sasuke couldn't grasp. "I heard you've managed to learn the enemy's weakness." It gave him fear and it fed him ideas. "As expected from Konoha's number one tactician." Was Kakashi thinking of the same thing Sasuke is right now? "Mind to share this plan of yours?"

"Oh, you will find out soon enough."

Sasuke feels a drop in his stomach. His gut tells him this will be the last time they would be talking to each other.

"Kakashi!" Sasuke screams as he sped towards Kakashi's area, leaving his squad behind and not giving a damn about the consequences. "You better not be planning something stupid! KAKASHI!"

"Maa… You know this is the only way."

"Bastard! Don't do anything stupid until I get there!" Sasuke pushes onward, killing everyone who stood on his way. "Don't you even try, Kakashi! Don't you DARE!"

Sasuke was speeding his way, blitzing around the battlefield. There were screams, blood and death everywhere he looked. All of a sudden a bright light was shot up from the sky, turning the night into day. The light was consumed by the darkness once again. After a few seconds, another bright light pulses through the sky, covering everything in white, momentarily blinding every shinobi in the battlefield.

Sasuke races to the source of the light. Kakashi must be there. "GODDAMMIT KAKASHI WHERE ARE YOU?" Sasuke thinks in his head as he scans the field. The ground was collapsing beneath him.

"Thank you for staying alive, Sasuke." Kakashi's voice resounds in his head.

It was then when Sasuke spots Kakashi. He still knew nothing of what's happening but he knew Kakashi was planning to die. As the world around them disintegrates, Sasuke pushes ahead. Power was surging from deep inside of him, power Sasuke didn't know he possessed. Every thought came out as a prayer, asking for forgiveness for his past sins, wanting another chance, wishing he wasn't too late.

Sasuke didn't even know what happened. The last image in his mind was Kakashi piercing the heart of the enemy. Sasuke charges in the blinding light, hoping to shield Kakashi from the blast, hoping to save him.

Death had come so swiftly for Sasuke. He did not even know if he had succeeded. He doesn't know if he had made it in time. Maybe that's why his spirit was in unrest. That was his unfinished business.

Judging by the name written in the polished rock, Sasuke thinks he did succeed after all.

"C-c-come back…" Kakashi pleads to the stone, his tears dripping relentlessly. "I… I… I can't… anymore… please... take me… with you…"

Seeing Kakashi being hurt this way, Sasuke thinks maybe he should have let Kakashi die. In heaven, Kakashi might have found true peace. He would have been happy to watch Sasuke from above. He would not have regretted sacrificing his life to end the war, to make the world a better place for Sasuke to live in. That would be Sasuke's regret. If he could turn back time, if he could be given another chance, he'd live forever as Kakashi wanted. If he could do it again, rather than the pain Kakashi was experiencing now, Sasuke would do anything for his happiness.

Kakashi lifts his face from the stone and quickly takes out a scroll. The tears brimming in his eyes made it difficult to read but Kakashi tried. Kakashi exhausts his chakra on the scroll, making them light up in the parchment. He struggles to breathe but it doesn't deter him. Kakashi takes out a kunai and struck the name on the stone, crossing out Sasuke's name with a single line.

Kakashi collapses on the polished rock. With shaky hands, he grasps the kunai more desperately, striking the stone once more, diligently carving characters with great care.

As soon as Kakashi finishes, the last ounce of his chakra reserves left his body and was sealed in the scroll. The last of his tears drip down and finally, with one last breath, Kakashi uses his chakra life force to kamui the forbidden scroll of resurrection and send it to another dimension, forever concealing it from the real world.

Afterwards the world was thrown into turmoil once again. An evil spirit was haunting people in their sleep. It was possessing people with weak minds, people who were suffering, people who were fraught and wishing for death.

The spirit does not die along with its host. After claiming a life, it transfers into another broken soul and continues to dwell in the living world. Many have tried to seal him back, send him to the place of the dead and give him eternal rest. None had succeeded.

The final resting place of the hosts was soon called the altar of sacrifice. After the host offers his tears, the spirit would attach to another life and begins his journey towards the altar again.

So many tears were offered after all these years but the stone does not erode. Up to now, they could still read the names in the polished rock - the name of the spirit that was scrapped and another name engraved below it:

Hatake Kakashi.

**-=oOo=-**

**A/N: Were you confused? Because I am (and I wrote it too) You can tell me if it's unclear. I'll try to fix it.. THANK YOU!**


	3. Chapter 3

A groan escapes from partially parted lips. Eyelids flutter open at a ray of light escaping the white-curtained windows. They close again almost instantly, burying them deep in the fluffy pillow. The soft blankets twisted and curled as the body pressed harder into the mattress, protesting on the need to leave the feathery comforts. Time heeded to his request and Kakashi inhaled the vanilla scent present in the room, inviting him back to his peaceful slumber.

A very strange lullaby was playing in his head. Sounding similar to thunderstorms, distant howling of animals and metals scarping against skin. It was a strange melody that Kakashi soon forgot, the memory being replaced by the sounds of crystal clear water dripping down the mountain stones, splashing in the rocks, plummeting down the falls. This music is much more preferable for beautiful mornings such as this.

"Wake up, my love…"

The voice was so wonderful in his ears that Kakashi opened his eyes to look at the source - which in his mind would be as equally beautiful. He was prepared for it yet when Kakashi had chanced to see, it was more than what he had expected.

"Good morning…" Sasuke climbs to the bed beside him, the soft mattress just sinking a bit despite his weight. Sasuke's hands travel under his blanket and land on top of his chest. "Mmm…" The kiss vibrates as Sasuke places his pink lips on top of his, smiling then kissing, smiling again then kissing again. When soft lips kissed his eyelids, Kakashi felt like slipping into dreamland again.

Kakashi's hands automatically wrapped around the slender body on top of him. Kakashi has memorized every sinew, every curve of the smaller framed man and his hands knew where to rest. He would have like to sleep more, but with Sasuke nibbling on his lips, the task became difficult.

"I haven't brushed my teeth yet." Kakashi put a finger near Sasuke's lips in warning.

Sasuke lightly shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Way to ruin the mood." He dislodged himself from Kakashi's hold. "Here am I, even thinking of bringing your breakfast to bed." With an irritation, Sasuke marches out the room, shouting "Now you will hurry down and eat with me."

Kakashi finds laughter coming out of his lungs. He always thought Sasuke's conduct to be very interesting despite it being cold and restrained. Oddly, the Sasuke in Kakashi's mind was never as funny as this. When he hears Sasuke still shouting downstairs, the thought was gone from his mind, as if it was never there.

"Father will be mad if you do not visit soon." Kakashi hears as soon as he steps at the landing. He looks around, finding it weird that he's admiring their house despite having lived in it for months. Maybe it's all because his dream home looks so very similar.

"You still have not thanked him for the boar he sent last week." Sasuke was standing near the dining table, apparently waiting for him to come before he sat down. "I thought he'd apologized to you? Had Sakumo done anything upsetting?"

A lifetime of memories flood Kakashi's head. Sakumo was a good father. He had been Kakashi's source of strength for all his life. Sakumo had only made him upset because he didn't want Kakashi to retire from being a shinobi but that was resolved now. However, the war had ended years ago and he had made his peace with his father.

"I will visit him today." Kakashi hurried to sit down so Sasuke could start eating. The man would always wait for him for meals - only for meals though. Kakashi made eating in their home a family affair and he made it a rule for it to always be done together.

That was not such a bad idea, doing it together with Sasuke. And so Kakashi gathered up the courage to invite the man to join him. "Will you come with me?" he asked with a pleading smile. "Father would like to see you too."

"Coward." Sasuke snapped at him before eating a slice of his favourite red tomatoes. "The White Fang's own son is afraid of him; how pathetic."

"You hurt me with your words." Kakashi frowned while chewing. "Why don't we visit the the Uchiha compound? I should like to pay Fugaku and Mikoto a visit."

"Hmph!" Sasuke's eyes widen before he turns his head to the side.

Kakashi starts laughing again. It seemed contagious, as Sasuke started smiling after. They ate their first meal that day with light-hearted feelings, stories of the past and hopes for the future. It was a wonderful start for a busy day.

"Shower together?" Kakashi asked Sasuke after they finished with the dishes. Doing everything together really sounds so appealing.

"I already took a bath." Sasuke sighed, walking away from him looking defeated. It looks as if he could not believe the absurdity of Kakashi's suggestion. "And you are a pervert."

Because of that, Kakashi took his shower alone. He did it very languidly, an effect of the hot water that seemed to put him back to sleep. He almost slept standing below the showerhead, his hands gripping the tiles for balance. When it became foggy, Kakashi decides to stop before he actually does fall asleep and hits his head on the wet floor.

As soon as he steps out of the shower, the cool air stuck to his skin so he had to quickly put a towel on. The mirror had become blurred because of the hot vapour and Kakashi had to wipe them off with his fingers. When he saw his face for the first time that morning, he can't help but feel something was off.

The color of his eyes didn't seem right. They were like coals but without the fire. These were his eyes that he was born with, he knew, yet he can feel that something was missing. The feeling was unhelpful - unjustified to say the least. But when he lifted his hands to scrub the droplets of water in his face, the feeling had grown more potent. His fingers miss a touch – a roughness in the smooth, supple skin. Kakashi pauses for a moment to think on it and when nothing came to mind, he had forgotten the feeling entirely.

Kakashi had limited wardrobe so it wasn't difficult to choose an attire. With regards to clothing functionality always came before fashion and that would not change anytime soon. "Sasuke, have you seen my mask?" Kakashi asks when he stepped outside the shared bedroom. He looks around the house and doesn't see any trace of it.

"The dog mask?" Sasuke's asked with a raised eyebrow. "What will you need them for?"

Kakashi's head hurt a little. Doesn't he always wear a mask? Everytime he left the house, he always made sure there was something concealing his face. "Not the ANBU mask but the black one…" Kakashi can't stop his eyes from looking around. "You know? The one I always wear to cover half my face…"

"If you're feeling cold, just get a scarf." Sasuke was close to ticking off. "It's a foggy morning too."

On second thought, a scarf would be nice. Why was he looking for a mask anyways? It was chilly outside and a scarf would be better to keep warm. Kakashi ran back to his wardrobe and grabbed a a long red one. He smirks, thinking maybe later Sasuke would get cold and they could share their warmth through the scarf. Kakashi chuckles to himself, feeling like a hopeless romantic all of a sudden.

"Slow." Sasuke greets him outside his room.

"We are not in a hurry." Kakashi replies back while he opens the front door.

"You really don't want to see him, do you?" Sasuke smirks as he closes the picket fence. They lived in a small house just outside the suburbs. Kakashi had bought land with the money he earned from his missions. There was plenty, Kakashi has been working as a shinobi since he was six. He has successfully finished thousands of missions - some of them were even SS-ranked. After retirement, he's become a writer now. They lived on their savings and the royalties he gets from his books. They lived a simple life, quiet and slow. The kind of life he promised Sasuke then.

"Why don't we walk slower?" Kakashi suggested. In truth, Kakashi really did want to see his father but convincing Sasuke would take too much effort and time. Arguing with Sasuke would end with someone getting hurt so he'd rather succumb to Sasuke's assumptions. A nice, slow walk to the town with Sasuke was a better alternative too.

Sasuke gives him a knowing smirk before agreeing. "Maybe you'd also like to take the scenic route?"

"Will it be longer?"

"Of course."

"Then yes."

Kakashi was surprised that Sasuke had smiled. No matter how many years have passed, no matter how tall Sasuke had grown, to Kakashi's eyes he'll always be a child. However, though some things never change, some do. Back then Sasuke's smiles were full of arrogance and mischievous intent. But now the smiles were much simpler, much truer to their original form – filled with happiness and contentment.

Sasuke lead the way, walking ahead of him for about three to four steps. Kakashi was falling further behind because he kept admiring the beauty of nature around him. Sasuke had taken him through the mountain and now they were walking up the trail to what seemed like an old temple. The stone steps were broken and the statues looked so ancient. Sasuke was walking towards an upside down garden, where vines fell on top of the trees and grew long enough to touch the ground. There was an endless curtain of pink and white flowers all around. Some of the petals were falling and it looked like it was raining flowers.

Kakashi was walking around aimlessly, his attention fully focused on the lovely colors. "Aren't they pretty?" Kakashi asks the man beside him but there was no one there.

For a moment Kakashi panics when he doesn't see Sasuke anywhere. "Sasuke!" He calls out, trying to sound like he was searching rather than calling for help. When he didn't get an answer, Kakashi started walking past the curtain of flowers but the thickness and the density of vines obstructed his view. "Sasuke!" he calls out again. Maybe Sasuke had forgotten all about him. Maybe he had found his way out of the vines.

Kakashi could only sigh. With his current predicament, he is tempted to summon Pakkun but he'd promised the nin-dogs some rest when he retired. In the end, Kakashi decided to solve his problems by himself. He'd summon the nin-dogs for parties and reunions but not for favors. Those days are over now.

Kakashi scratches his head at the endlessness of the flowery world. "Where do I start?"

Just then, Kakashi hears voices from afar. It didn't sound anything like fairies or forest nymphs. More like Sasuke calling out his name.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi calls out louder now. Maybe Sasuke was lost too. Highly unlikely. It was more probable that Sasuke had noticed he was gone and was looking for him. "Sasuke!" Kakashi calls out non-stop so Sasuke could follow his voice. "SASU—"

All of a sudden, Kakashi feels arms embrace him from the back.

"Sasuke..." Kakashi calls out the name much softer now. The man was hugging him from behind, burying his face on his back, and apparently trying to tone down the laughter. "Were you playing jokes on me?" Kakashi put a little sadness in his voice. "You did this on purpose, didn't you?"

"You should have seen your face when you realized you were lost!" Sasuke was trying to control his laugher. "It was so funny!"

"Is it?" Kakashi just chuckled. Sasuke's laughter was contagious. It brought relief to his troubled heart, blowing away all his worries. "Well it's not funny when I see you gone…" Kakashi scolded him. "In fact, it's the scariest thing I could feel. I was about to die if you hadn't showed up."

At that, Sasuke's laughter abruptly dies down. Kakashi was impressed at how he could make Sasuke regret what he did but he didn't want to go that far to upset him. He always liked when Sasuke played games; contrary to popular belief Sasuke was a fun and playful person too.

Sasuke hold had become tighter now. "Is it really that scary?" There was hint of joy in Sasuke's voice, just for knowing the fact that he had that effect on Kakashi.

"Yes it is." Kakashi turns around from his spot, uncoiling the scarf around his neck, leaving half of it on before putting the rest on Sasuke's. "So you will put this on and we will walk beside each other from now."

"Now I have to wear this thing because you can't keep up with me." Sasuke rolls his eyes. "You and your dirty tricks."

Kakashi didn't mind Sasuke's insults. Not when there was a blush in his cheeks and a smile on his face. And with that, with the scarf keeping them close together, they walked out of the flowery garden.

The scenic route didn't end there though. Not a few minutes later, they came across a wide stream. A cool mist was blocking their view again as the waterfall poured fresh, cool water into it. Kakashi started controlling the chakra on his feet but then Sasuke playfully stepped on them.

"That's no fun." Sasuke teases before removing the scarf on his neck and twisting them around his hand. He then quickly jumps at the stone steps seemingly floating in the water. Sasuke tugged the scarf, making Kakashi step forward and follow.

When he brought the scarf Kakashi thought it would be romantic but Sasuke had somehow transformed it into his leash. "Not so fast, I might slip." Kakashi warns. He certainly has the skill to keep himself balanced on the slippery stones but there was no fun in that.

"Do not worry," Sasuke reassures him. "If you fall, I will jump after you."

"But it's cold." Kakashi teases him. "I do not want for you to get wet."

"Then do not slip and fall." Sasuke looks back to him with an impish smile before tugging the scarf and jumping at the stones with greater speed.

Fortunately, they made it past the wide stream without getting entirely wet. Kakashi shakes of the droplets of water that stuck in his hair. He notices that Sasuke was ignoring the droplets of water in his hair and decides to help him out with it.

"Oi!" Sasuke shouts when Kakashi assaulted him from behind. "Stop that!" He slaps Kakashi's hands away. "Leave my hair alone!"

"Stop struggling!" Kakashi insists on doing this favour. To appease the affronted man, Kakashi cups Sasuke's face and kisses him on his temples. It makes Sasuke stop and blush.

"That's enough!" Sasuke said after a while. It was obvious that he enjoyed Kakashi's display of affection but he will not admit it. He stomps away from Kakashi, snubbing the scarf altogether. "This way." Sasuke motions for Kakashi to follow him.

"Why walk so far away from me?" Kakashi tried to keep up.

"Che." Sasuke sneers.

Kakashi finds Sasuke's version of playing hard to get very amusing. Then again, Kakashi was also a stubborn man. The grumpier Sasuke became, the more he's challenged to soften his heart. He had courted Sasuke so many times in the past - serenading him, giving him flowers and sweets. His attempts annoy Sasuke to no end but Kakashi knew deep inside, Sasuke loved him for it.

Kakashi was so thankful that Sasuke loved him. Sasuke was the most precious thing in this world. Kakashi can't help but feel that he had lost Sasuke before. Something was telling him that Sasuke had left, that he had gone, and that he was missing. When something you love had gone, when it comes back, you'll love it more. When something you love was lost, when you find it, you will treasure it more. Though Sasuke had never gone from him, though Sasuke had never been lost, Kakashi can't help but feel as if he were.

"Aren't you coming?"

Kakashi had been daydreaming and Sasuke's voice woke him. When he looked up, he can't help but gasp at the scene before him. Truly, this was scene to behold.

Sasuke was standing on a stone arch bridge. The stream below it made music similar to his dream – water dripping on stones as they steadily flowed amplified by the silence of the forest. The gentle breeze played with Sasuke's hair, carrying with it small pink flowers and yellow leaves picking their graves on the earth. The sunlight peeked from the thick canopy of leaves that blocked the sky, making the water around Sasuke shimmer, making his pale skin glow and radiate his beauty.

Kakashi's heart swells at the sight. Never has he seen anything so beautiful.

"What's wrong?" Sasuke asks when Kakashi walked up to him. The older man's eyes were teary.

"So beautiful…" Kakashi couldn't help but say. His heart was exploding with emotions and he feels like dying because of the happiness inside of him. "You are so beautiful, Sasuke."

Sasuke was about to reprimand him for making him sound like a girl but Kakashi's lips on his prevented him from speaking. Kakashi was cupping his face with gentle hands and he deepened the kiss, putting more passion, more affection, more of his emotions into every brush of his tongue and every peck of his lips.

Sasuke succumbs into the kiss, with knees buckling and arms desperately clinging to the other man's shoulders. Sasuke was certain he had a terrible blush in his cheeks.

"I love you, Sasuke." Kakashi whispers.

The words echo in the room and Sasuke wakes from his slumber. He looks at the candle in the bedside table. By the amount of wax that melted, Sasuke could tell that he had woken in the middle of the night. There were no windows in his room so he wouldn't know how high the moon was in the sky.

Waking in the middle of the night doesn't surprise him though; he hasn't had proper sleep for years now, ever since it happened.

Sasuke gets out of bed and coughs. The dead bodies rotting in the room had produced a stench so pungent it turned your stomach upside down. Sasuke would have burned them with his black flames but decided he'd wait until morning, after he had moved his most precious cargo resting in the adjacent room.

Orochimaru's secret lairs weren't so secret after all, if these weak shinobi were able to find them. Orochimaru died before he could destroy his laboratories and hideouts and Sasuke was the only one alive who knew their location. Sasuke had been using them as a hiding place ever since he escaped Konoha. After being reinstated as a citizen of the Leaf, Sasuke was a missing-nin yet again.

Sasuke didn't want to be a shinobi anymore. He has had enough of war. He didn't give a fuck about the hopes and dreams of those delirious men. Peace could never truly exist in a world full of hatred, full of people hungry for power. He had been fighting for a lost cause - fighting a war and seeing its end just for another to take its place. He has had enough of war. He hated it. He hated the very thing that could take his love away from him.

Sasuke walks out of his room, his sandals sinking in ankle-deep blood, still a sticky crimson unlike those that clung to the walls and ceiling, dark and dry and black and dead.

Sasuke takes his sandals off when he reaches Kakashi's room. He dared not to get even speck of dirt enter the pristine chamber. Kakashi's room was white, clean and fragrant.

Sasuke checks the monitors to see if anything was wrong. Kakashi's heartbeat was normal. His brain activity was higher than usual but it was not cause for alarm.

Sasuke stands beside Kakashi's bed, watching the man sleep. Sleeping was all Kakashi did now. Sasuke missed seeing Kakashi awake. The last that Sasuke had seen him awake was when Kakashi was hurrying to aid the Hokage. Kakashi was already in his weakened state and the next fight would certainly claim his life. Kakashi was ignoring Sasuke's warning then. Sasuke was begging him to step down but Kakashi was stubborn.

That was why when Sasuke suddenly kissed Kakashi, he cast a powerful genjutsu unbeknownst to the man. It changed Kakashi's memories, altered his perception of time and created a whole new reality for him. Sasuke didn't like for Kakashi to live in a dream but Kakashi deserved a life without pain. He deserved happiness more than anyone. He deserves all the happiness in the world and more, so much, much more.

This was the first time in Kakashi's eternal sleep, that Sasuke finds tears in Kakashi's face. Sasuke didn't know why Kakashi was crying in his dreams. But Sasuke knew there was no pain there, there was no hurt there. There was only happiness and love.

All this madness was not done in vain.

Sasuke was content to know that all the unlawful deaths, all the tragedies he unleashed to the earth, his rebellion against humanity, his defiance to the shinobi world - everything was justified.

For Kakashi's tears of joy.


End file.
